Stuck in Motion

If you've ever been in a car accident, you'll know there are moments when a split second makes all the difference.

You're changing lanes. You look in one mirror, then the other. Do you move now, or wait? For a brief moment you're caught between two decisions. The danger isn't choosing a lane. It's trying to keep both options open.

That image stayed with me this morning because I realized I'd been doing exactly what I help my coaching clients overcome.

The strange thing was that I wasn’t inactive.

Quite the opposite.

I've been writing. Building a coaching business. Developing ideas. Creating workshops. Exploring partnerships. Planning retreats. Having conversations. Following opportunities. There has been no shortage of movement.

But, movement and progress are not the same thing. I realised that I haven't been standing still. I've been changing lanes.

One moment I'd convince myself to focus on executive coaching. Then retreats. Then writing. Then webinars. Then online programmes. Each idea had merit. Each opportunity seemed exciting. Each one could work.

And because they all could work, I never fully committed to any of them.

It's remarkable how easily we recognize patterns in other people while remaining blind to them in ourselves. I was doing exactly what I asked coaching clients to do at the start of our work. We put every option on the table. We explore every possibility. Then, eventually, we choose.

Because progress only begins when commitment does. I don't need more ideas. I don't need another opportunity. I need a lane.

If I was going to be honest with myself, I had to ask a couple of questions.

Why was it so difficult to commit to a single lane?

In what way was my behaviour serving me?

Every opportunity looked exciting because choosing one meant letting another go. And every new idea gave me permission not to commit to the previous one.

No wonder staying busy felt safer than choosing.

Choosing one direction doesn't mean abandoning every other possibility forever. It simply means giving one path enough time and attention to discover where it leads.

The stakes had become far bigger in my mind than they were in reality. Choosing a direction had started to feel like a life-defining decision.

What if I chose the wrong path?

What if something better was just around the corner?

So I challenged the thought, just as I encourage my coaching clients to do.

"Are the stakes really that high, Stuart?" The honest answer was no. In fact, the greater risk wasn't choosing the wrong lane. It was spending another six months weaving between them and getting nowhere.

I'd confused activity with progress.

So if you've been feeling stuck lately, it might be worth asking yourself a different question.

Instead of asking, "Why am I not moving?"

Perhaps ask, "Am I actually moving too much to make meaningful progress?"

The perfect lane probably doesn't exist.

Sometimes clarity doesn't come before commitment. It comes from staying with a decision long enough to discover where it leads.