BREATHING SPACE

Alchemy of Breath: What I Didn’t Expect to Learn

I’ll be honest: I am every retreat leader’s worst nightmare — cynical, sceptical, always scanning for cracks. If there’s a circle of barefoot tree-huggers swaying to chants, I’m the one at the back thinking, What on earth have I signed up for?

As someone who runs retreats myself, I arrived at the Alchemy of Breath Facilitator’s Camp with a hyper-critical eye. I notice everything: the customer journey, the welcome, the food, the flow of the programme, how the details tie together. And through that lens, I can say this retreat was nothing short of a master-class in creating transformation.

The lead-up was impressive. Messaging built excitement and anticipation, weaving in heartfelt notes from past participants — advice about surrendering, opening to love, and letting go of expectations. For someone who prefers spreadsheets to stardust, I rolled my eyes. I braced for a week of “woo-woo,” of unshaven armpits and earnest platitudes.

And yet, here’s the mirror I didn’t expect to face: I can be cynical, judgmental, even dismissive. I demand patience and generosity when I run retreats, but I rarely extend the same courtesy as a guest. That realisation was humbling. Even before arrival, I was reminded that I am always learning — especially when I think I already know.

On day one, the facilitators made a claim so outrageous it felt laughable: “By the end of this retreat, you will be in love with everyone here.” I scoffed. But by the closing circle, it was true. I was in love with them all — deeply connected, profoundly grateful. Remarkable.

I didn’t want to come. I was overwhelmed with work, drowning in deadlines, tethered to my phone. I came only because it was required for graduation. But the timing, in hindsight, was perfect. Arriving exhausted and expectation-free meant I received more than I could have imagined. Sometimes the door opens when you’ve already stopped knocking.

The first breathwork session was nothing short of magical — the most powerful I’ve ever experienced. From that moment, I was hooked. I didn’t expect to learn anything new. Yet the lessons came not only from the practices, but from the people. Connections formed instantly, friendships I know will last. Even surprising professional collaborations emerged. I came to breathe, not to network — but life has a way of delivering more than you ordered, and I never miss an obvious opportunity to expand my LinkedIn connections.

In most retreats, you notice participants hanging back, disengaged. Not here. Everyone seemed touched, moved, changed. It felt as though some invisible growth-dust had been sprinkled over us all — and this from me, the one who doesn’t believe in stardust.

The structure was strong, the sessions profound, the presentations first-rate. But there was also space for joy. After days of vegetarian food and deep inner work, a group of us would slip into town for a glass of wine, ending up laughing and dancing into the night. That mix — responsibility and play, discipline and spontaneity — captured the essence of a life well lived.

Was it flawless? No, and that was its strength. Perfection feels sterile, like it’s been run by AI. There were human missteps: a careless remark, a flash of irritation from a facilitator. In the moment, these stung. But they reminded me that leaders are always under the microscope, and words land heavier than intended. I’ve made the same mistakes myself. It was a mirror of what not to do — but also of the grace we need to extend to one another. As one facilitator put it: “Bad things don’t happen to you; they happen for you.”

Perfect? No. Purposeful? Absolutely. Did it deliver on its promise? Without question. Participants left lighter, happier, more resourced. And I left reminded that connection is not about flawlessness, but about authenticity. Some described the group atmosphere as “cult-like” — so much alignment, so much love. But here’s the difference: leaving a cult, you never want to return. Leaving this retreat, all you want is to go back.

This retreat was a masterful blend of love, learning, connection, imperfection, and joy. It was everything I didn’t know I needed — and more. And perhaps most importantly, it reminded me of this simple truth: no matter how much experience I have, I am always a student. Always learning. Always humbled.

Good job, Alchemy of Breath.